Well, neither does bathing - that’s why we recommend it daily.Choosing a birthday card is just half the battle now you have to think of something funny to write inside. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. “Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.” – Unknownĥ0. “Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.” – Mignon McLaughlinĤ9. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.” – Murphy’s LawĤ8. “Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he’ll believe you. God will never take anything away from you without the intention of replacing it with something much better.” – UnknownĤ7. Do you know who comes first? You.” – UnknownĤ6. “Fear is the second toughest bitch in life. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom LehrerĤ5. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. “There are some people who come into your life pretending that they love you only because they need you.” – Uzair LallmamodĤ2. “When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.” - Richard LewisĤ1. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.” - Terry PratchettĤ0. “Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for an hour. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow! What a Ride!’” - Hunter S. When the going gets tough, the tough just quit. Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. “I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.” ― Bill Wattersonģ5. “The great gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you.” - Kendall Hailey.ģ4. “Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.” - Dr. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” - Reba McEntireģ2. I have been getting only the peels for as long as I can remember!” – Unknownģ1. “If life gives you lemons, then be thankful for it. “When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot Twist” and move on.” – Unknownģ0. “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” - Bill WattersonĢ9. “Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? I’d be happy to find intelligent life here on Earth first.” – AnonymusĢ8. “If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, it’s because you’re both heading in the same direction.” – AnonymousĢ7. Never give out all the information” – Unknown Sarcastic Quotes on Life To Make You LaughĢ6. “An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough” – UnknownĢ5. “If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.”- Lawrence FerlinghettiĢ3. “Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.” – Allen SaundersĢ2. “Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.” – Stephen HawkingĢ1. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence - then success is sure. “May your life be as awesome as people pretend it is on Social media.” Anonymousġ9. “Life is like going to a party – dance even when you don’t feel like it.” – Anonymousġ8. After all, it kills you.” - Katharine Hepburnġ7. “Reality continues to ruin my life.” - Bill Wattersonġ6. “Life is hard it’s harder if you’re stupid.” - John Wayneġ5. “Life is a sexually transmitted disease.” - R.D. “Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.” - Woody Allenġ3. “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” - John Lennonġ2. “I’m starting to think my purpose in life is to serve as a cautionary tale to others.”ġ1. You will never get out of it alive.” - Elbert Hubbardġ0. “My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.” – Unknownĩ. Call in sick to places you don’t even work at.” – UnknownĨ. “Life is hard it’s harder if you’re stupid.” – John Wayneħ. “Life is full of disappointments, and I just added you to the list.” – UnknownĦ. “Life is like a roller coaster, and I’m about to throw up.” – Anonymousĥ. Smile while you still have teeth.” – UnknownĤ. “When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in peoples’ eyes.” – Unknownģ. “Life’s good, you should get one.” – UnknownĢ.
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